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Control Issues (Mine)

August 6th, 2008 at 07:13 am

I have noticed I have control issues. I sometimes use "my getting the money in order" as an excuse to control my dh. He's not big on taking care of the money, he's happy to let me make most of the decisions. But once in a while he has opinions about what should be done with the money and I find myself fibbing

and making excuses as to why we have to do it my way. I have heard admitting something is half the battle and at least I'm will to admit I have control issues.

7 Responses to “Control Issues (Mine)”

  1. luxlivingfrugalis Says:

    Have you admitted it to him???? Cringe! That might be hardest to do.

  2. merch Says:

    For the most part, I control the finances for my household. My wife really doesn't like the details but wants to have a good feeling of where we are.

    I give her kind of an executive report once a monet on where we are. It allows her to revisit the goals we agreed on and talk about any changes coming to the budget coming up. She doesn't look at our budget just the executive report.

    It's a bout a 15 minute conversation once a month.

  3. cheshirecat Says:

    Lux...
    I have kind of admitted it (not the fibbing part). He has accused me of being controlling though.Smile He's a lot younger than me, we have been married over 10 years. so he's maturing and not so willing to let me be the boss.Smile

  4. cheshirecat Says:

    merch...
    I keep a weekly running tally on the fridge of what our income is that week and where it has gone. So he can see if if he is so inclined.Smile Where my post came from was........He's big into snowmobiling and wanted to know the other day how much was in the snowmobile account. When I told him he said I thought there was more.......I said I had to use some to buy our new replacement lawn mower because our EF is low. Which was a fib because our BEF is 1500.Frown

  5. luxlivingfrugalis Says:

    Sounds like maybe you have 'security' issues. Lots of us women do. You might be surprised how considerate of those feelings he'd be if you opened up about how having a fat EF makes you feel more secure. And while I know you enjoy the snowboarding too, that you have to keep the other in mind as well. I'd think that you both maturing together w/financial goals, plans, and executed purchases discussed & agreed upon together would take you farther down that road. Good luck. I think it's great that you've admitted to yourself your control issue.

  6. Broken Arrow Says:

    I think it's wonderful to be able to admit to something like that. It will make us better people in the end.

  7. momcents Says:


    I like this thread - I have major security issues - and I would love to have DH say "I will take care of it, don't worry." It hasn't been the division of labor in our marriage for that to be even a possibility. I would like to move towards that though. I thought I needed to control everything, but guess what? I don't want all the control. It is a lonely place to be ...

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